Saturday, February 16, 2008

Don't ignore us

I was reading Halima's blog recently where she posted some information about a doctoral candidate surveying interracial couples. It sounded interesting, so I decided to look into it a little more. I like sharing my views.

Needless to say, I was dissapointed for the survey to narrow down who they wanted to black women/men to white men/women couples.

It points out a issue I have with the interracial community at times. While I get that they want to show black women are desirable, and that white men should be considered among their dating choices, there are other choices out there.

I didn't marry a white man. I married a Dine man.
We have our own unique situations that a bw/wm couple would never face. Is my opinion any less than those who married a white man?

Sometimes I feel as though I'm on the outskirts of the whole IR movement. I bucked the statistics that said a lot of black women would stay single. And I opened my options to include other people. Shouldn't that count for something?

There are other races that should be considered for black women. White men shouldn't be the the only one. There are Hispanic, Asian, Native American and others to consider as well.

We should be telling any black women not to limit her choices to white men only. Whe should be considering all people and all races. Because we did that with black men, and look what happened to us.

Maybe I should start my own community for black women who didn't marry a white man.



Anonymous said...


Hey! I made over to your blog! :) I love it! I can't wait to show my husband. I wanted to tell you that my favorite aunt is 100% Navajo! ;) They have most respectful, kind, and well-educated son. He's also very handsome too! OK...enough of my Navajo/black-love thing.

I absolutely agree with your posting! I was very intrigued by the prospect of participating in this survey. I feel the same way as you at times too and I wrote about this over at ABC and JeffG's blog. I'm a black woman who is married to a mixed race (Southeast Asian/White) man. At times I feel as if we are forgotten about in all of this talk about white men because he's part Asian and we have a Spanish sounding last name.

JeffG said...

Thought I should mention we talked about this in the latest podcast, and we referenced your site.

I'll admit, I thought the survey was a bit limited, but I understand also that the person who requested we post it was creating it in reference to her own experience, being in a black/white relationship.

Much as I figured it might cause a slight stir, better to post and give people the chance to take it if they were eligible than to not post it at all.

Diva said...

I read your blog all the time.
I feel that same way that you do in many ways...being on the outskirts of the IR movement. I was actually writing about the same thing and then saw your entry. Cool that I am not alone.

black women first said...

I feel you girl! White guys are okay-- im open to dating them, but im much more interested in an IRR with a hispanic, middle eastern, or filipino man.