Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I write, therefore I am

Picture this:

Mr. Salt and I in the Books section of a Walmart in Mesquite, Texas a few weeks back.

Like I usually do, I take a look at some of Romance book summaries. I'm not into reading a lot of romances(mysteries, fantasy, and action novels are my thing), but I do have two Romance authors that I like. I pick up a book. It's a romance between a Native American and a white woman. I talk about the summary. Mr. Salt goes on to have a nice little rant:

DineBoo: Babe, check this out: "The warrior must claim this 'honey haired goddess...'

Mr. Salt: What? Honey haired goddess? Why does the woman always have to be white? Couldn't she be black? And why is the Indian always Sioux or Cheyenne? Where are the Navajo and the Utes?

DineBoo: Maybe I can write it someday. I do have the real thing. Why don't you grow your hair out for me?

Mr. Salt: Aaayyy!
Sometimes I can't believe that sort of stuff is still being written. The women is pure, light, and white (usually oppressed someway) and here comes the mythical Indian who will save her! It falls into that line that views Native Americans as one tribe or entity. Or, they are the savages that must be tamed. And to think we blacks have image problems!

This isn't a rant against romance per se. I'm a writer, or try to be. I love to write. I hope to have a novel published someday. I'm working on it now, after months of fininally figuring out a plot. It's a fantasy/mystery thing, merging two of my favorite genres. As my writing alter ego on the net, I write romances for practice.

I can't really condemn the novel having not read it, but if it's anything like the novels I have seen discussed, I won't be surprised.

But for me, I want to finish something. It never seems like I get past the first chapter. I'm great at writing myself into corners, or forgetting the plot. Hopefully, this time will be different.


Monday, June 2, 2008

The Dreaded Two Week Wait

Last night I had a very vivid dream.

I was taking my infant son (or daughter, couldn't really tell) to the doctor along with Mr. Salt. The baby was light skinned (around the coloring of my sister-in-law and Mr. Salt during the winter) with really curly black hair. What I remember the most was the eyes. Dark big eyes. Must have came from my side of the family.

It wasn't the dreaded/hoped for fish dream, but I'll take what I can get.

As I stated in the title, I'm in what the "trying to conceive" community calls the Two Week Wait. That period of time after ovulation where you can't test for pregnancy for two weeks (or one week and some change, depending on the test). It's a very interesting time. You either obsess about every little possible pregnancy sign, or count down the days on calender.

Myself, I'm trying to stay neutral. I've had so many BFNs (Big Fat Negative on a pregnancy test, another term from the TTC community) that I'm rather wary about testing myself. The kicker is that I have to test myself if I consider myself late since I have to have a negative test before I start a cycle inducing drug. Luckily, I haven't had to take that drug since I've started on my own (Yay!).

But its really getting to the point where I don't want to buy the blasted sticks anymore. Every negative result chips away at you, and it gets to the point where you just want to get it over with. I don't really test with Mr. Salt is around, though he wants to be there sometimes. He's really seeing my disappointment now, and I don't want to compound things. We're already breaking Navajo cultural taboo with his extensive knowledge of my cycles.

But don't worry. I've resolved that if/when I get a possible BFP (Big Fat Positive) on a test, he'll be involved with the test that confirms it.